Saying Goodbye To Our Friends

April 29, 2011 2 Comments by afamilyinmotion

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A Lump In The Throat

I’ve been delaying writing this post for weeks because it’s a topic that is difficult for me to even contemplate, let alone write an entire post about. I’ve never been the outgoing type, and though my husband is slightly more outgoing than I, neither of us can boast a huge posse of friends. We’re not the type of people with 500 friends on facebook, or our social calendars filled to the brim with glamorous cocktail parties or nightly drinks with buddies. What we do have is a small core of people who have become very close to us, and who make our lives that much more meaningful. And if it weren’t for them, the idea of packing up and moving across the globe would be so much easier.

Our Friends Better Visit Us In Thailand

Of course, we’ve extended invitations to all of our nearest and dearest to come and visit once we get settled into our routine in Thailand. And some of our closest friends are seriously considering spending the next winter in Thailand with us, but it’s not the same. I know I’ll miss arranging an impromptu playdate for my daughter with my good girlfriends and their children, the playdate as much for my daughter as it is for me. Or calling up our friends for a last-minute dinner party, comfortable enough to not feel bad inviting them mere hours before serving the main course. And that’s the key: the level of comfort we feel with these special people. It took years to build trust and develop intimacy with these friends. And the idea of leaving them breaks my heart.

Can We Make New Friends In Thailand?

I know we’ll make new friends in Thailand–I know we are capable of making friends wherever we are. But I also tend to worry a lot. I worry that we’ll feel isolated, that we’ll have a hard time making friends because of a language or culture barrier, that our new friends won’t be as great as our old friends. Of course, great friendships take a long time to grow. And like anything that’s worth having, they are a lot of work to develop and maintain. I am suspect of people who want to be best friends immediately, who try to get too close too fast, skipping over that awkward but necessary phase of gingerly stepping around, trying to figure new friends out. Paul and I had a strange experience like that a few years ago with a couple. It seemed like overnight our relationship with these two people blossomed into full BFF-hood. And for both of us, that seemed very out of character. We rarely become attached at the hip with anyone, not even each other. Yet suddenly we were spending every weekend with this couple, going on overnight trips and barbecuing in our backyards, and then, fatally, entering into a professional relationship. And then, just as immediately as it began, our friendship with this couple was over. Bam, we’d been dropped like a school girl stood up on prom night. We were upset and a little bewildered, but I’ll be darned if we didn’t learn a thing or two about the value of a good friendship. And perhaps, too, we became just a little more cautious of deals that look too good to be true.

Ingrid Will Make New Friends Wherever She Is

And of course I worry about Ingrid making new friends, though I realize while I’m writing this that I know she’ll have absolutely no trouble making friends. She made a new friend the other day in an elevator over the course of two minutes. Kids are amazingly flexible, and I know that once we arrive in Thailand she’ll be surrounded by friends in a matter of days. In fact, I remember being a kid and moving to a new neighborhood when I was about 7. Someone must have spread the word that a family with two young girls was moving in because when we drove up in our Uhaul, every school age kid in the neighborhood had flocked to greet us. That first evening in our new house, my mom stood on the front porch well after dark and called for my sister and me to come in, a ritual which would be repeated nightly for years to come. I hope Ingrid has a similar experience, though of course Paul and I will be calling her on her cell phone and will be expecting regular updates as to her whereabouts, unlike our parents, who had no clue where we were all day long–and thank goodness, too, for they would not have been pleased to learn the mischief we were up to.

And so we’ll all go to Thailand together, wife, husband, daughter, and dog, together and not alone. We are each others‘ best friends, and that is ultimately the most important thing I could ask for.

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2 Comments

  1. Grandma
    6 years ago

    Adrienne, Paul and Ingrid,
    I am not on facebook but keep me posted on your activities.
    Love to all of you,
    Grandma

    PS Dea sent this to me.

    Reply

    • Adrienne
      6 years ago

      Hi Grandma!

      I’m so glad you found our blog–I hope you enjoy reading! Check back every week or so for a new post and update on our move to Thailand. I’ll give you a call soon to chat and catch up.

      Love you,

      Adrienne

      Reply

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